Feels Like Fluff!

This blogging thing can be addictive!

People have told me all of my life, you need to write, you need to publish a book, you are talented, you have stories to tell!

Well, as it turns out, I also have a few flaws (being human and all)! One of the mega weaknesses that looms large over me is that I am just plain afraid! I am not afraid to be known, or of being honest, or even of letting you see who I am, all the way to my guts. I am in fear of not being good enough or of making a technical mistake.

Not really my fault (she says was a sideways smile) I had interesting parents. I was not sexually abused, or beaten. I was just never nurtured.

They had problems, they were very human, my parents. They were without a play book and never understood the power of their effect.

They could not manage to punch their way out of their own thin paper sacks that held them so blind. So, surely they never saw the 3 little kids standing before them. Kids that counted on their love and acceptance in order to grow strong and withstand this harsh world.

So there I was, this sensitive being, in a place that may have been a little less than giving. I am an innate dreamer, I wanted wings to fly away. I wanted to be good enough. In a world where I never was.

The point of this short post is to let all of you know, I am learning so much from being here. By just reading about you and your days, your issues, and your families. You let me into your dreams and your convictions, very powerful stuff! You all are the brave ones...

I wanted these words to say to you; I feel more free and I am beginning to live in less fear of being judged for silly stuff. If the damn comma is in the wrong spot or if I make some tragic mistake, it's just too freaking bad!

Maybe the blogger gestapo will come and toss me out on my ear; barring entry from this cyber-plane, forever!

I must get over it or I will type my words on the keyboard and nothing will appear on the screen, ever! Maybe when I wake tomorrow, I only have thumbs and typing will be an impossible fray of jumbled, nonsensical letters meaning that my message and thoughts will never push through.

If that is the case, ban me! Don't come back!

But I hope that you will return...

To my blogger buddies, like Spitfire, you guys make it real... and I admire you for that!

I might want to be a bird and I might want to fly. But I don't have to fly away!

I might have feathers, but I am not just fluff!

I have stories within, about my world and life, I love taking my photos.

I really do feel amazing when I disengage from reality and have a moment to create. I love the feeling of typing in order to just to take the ride and see where it ends. I want to let you ride with me and along the way I may discover the truth about who I am or maybe I will just take off the seat belt and let 'er fly!

PILLAR

Strong, Tall

Deeply Rooted

Enduring

Solid

Proud

Capable

Timeless

Withstanding Suns Heat

Winter Rains

Immovable...

Tear Stained

Unscathed

Foundational

Unwavering,

In Shadow

Or Light

Chipped and Scarred

But Never Broken

Eternal...

My Love

Fall Whisper...

This is my favorite time of year... I love the change, that breath of fresh,crisp air and that feeling of the coming stillness.

The light is so soft, yet somehow it seems to make bolder the vibrant colors of the trees on display.

I find it odd to recognize this trait in myself, because in Louisiana we do not have much in the way of a "change of seasons". So how did I, a child born of southern humidity, develop such an innate penchant for fall?

For me, the sensation come from deep within. This is not from just some surface longing for something cooler; but rather comes from some prehistoric, ingrained exposure... causing a need for life to slow and pause for a "cryogenic" state, of sorts.

Where not only the physical earth becomes dormant and rests, but where human longing grabs hold to make room inside for renewal and a review of life as we know it.

A space in time where people are allowed to wrap up, relax, snuggle and just "BE".

This place in time comes along with a balance of day and night, which further enhances a chance for rest and reflection. Maybe time near a fireplace or a moment to sip a steamy cup of tea...restorative, reflective, peaceful.

The season enfolds you like a lover and whispers softly, "slow down".

I am overcome with the look, spirit and feel of fall. I have given over to the whisper... I wish for us all, if only for a moment, a place in which to "BE"!

Words with Meaning!

My new word creation: "Compacity"

The word origin is caused by daily frustrations in the world, mostly at work, mostly for things that should not be an issue. This word is derived from a combination of the words compassion and capacity...

I should have compassion for your problem today!

I do not have the capacity to handle your problem today!

Therefore, I lack the "compacity" to deal with your problems today.... "GET A GRIP"!

Someone, please call Websters!

Inside...

What do you allow to bubble up from deep inside that seeps out through the cracks?

Where do you look when things are troubling?

What do you do when someone else needs your help?

Can you feel the colors inside of your life?

Would you stand up for your fellow man, or those who are less fortunate?

Can you stand up for yourself?

Have you been wounded? Have you been loved?

Do you know who you are? I mean who you REALLY are...

If you close your eyes, where do you go?

In the end, will others know who you really were or will they only know the facade?

More important than all of that, are you taking note of who you are now; of how your actions may speak more loudly than your soul?

Are you working to change those weak, elemental traits that you may not be so proud of?

Can you love freely?

Can you give without thought of yourself?

Are you accepting?

Can you state your beliefs proudly, without excuse?

Are you strong enough to look inside...

What do you see when you look inside?

Nooks, Crannies...and an Endless Hall of Light and Glass

Light, Shadow, Distance...

I wander around sometimes, in order to just point and shoot!

I try to sneak in places other don't generally go, like the long hallway above that leads to offices and storage. ( I actually sat there, on the floor for a while and looked out of the windows, it was so peaceful...not much foot traffic for the offices at all)

A couple of these are sneaky shots (not so public area's) in the Chicago Public Library and the wonderful architecture display is from one of my favorite spaces The Chicago Museum of Art.

Head Above the Water

We all seem to have stressful feelings these days. We fight and struggle with money, we tussle with not enough hours in the day...we find ourselves working more and missing more important time with our families. It never lets up!

Fact is, most of us are very close to drowning and we do not even know how to save ourselves, much less anyone else. Chances are no one is going to come along and throw you a life ring, because they are much too busy treading water!

Interestingly enough, many women I know who are full-time workers and mothers, wives "all in one fell swoop" are experiencing strong feelings that they are failing everyone.

We are mad at ourselves for not taking care of everyone with every little need, when we are not clearly aware of our own. We continue to gasp for air and flail about...

We beat ourselves up for feeling guilty about feeling guilty or for being depressed or ineffective.

We seem to be last on our own list, which does no one any good, at all~

We need to look around for the things that will save us!

And although it takes concerted effort, I think the first thing to do when drowning is relax!

Use your mind to control the panic, your body will float. Just give it a chance. Trust in yourself and the natural way of the universe.

Stop struggling, put your head back for just a second and let the tension go.

Breathe!!!

If you can just do that for a few seconds, your body will automatically begin to find natural buoyancy. Before you know it, your body works in unison with nature and surprisingly rises to the top. It feels sublime to let go!

We all need to struggle a bit less and learn to trust our higher powers, beliefs and a more natural course.

We all need to give in just a bit... and care for ourselves. If we can find a second to do that and give over the struggle for control, we may actually just take a real breath. That might allow us a bit of joy or some much deserved peace!

Relax, give in, give up and trust in something larger than yourself.

I promise, you won't go under!