People have told me all of my life, you need to write, you need to publish a book, you are talented, you have stories to tell!
Well, as it turns out, I also have a few flaws (being human and all)! One of the mega weaknesses that looms large over me is that I am just plain afraid! I am not afraid to be known, or of being honest, or even of letting you see who I am, all the way to my guts. I am in fear of not being good enough or of making a technical mistake.
Not really my fault (she says was a sideways smile) I had interesting parents. I was not sexually abused, or beaten. I was just never nurtured.
They had problems, they were very human, my parents. They were without a play book and never understood the power of their effect.
They could not manage to punch their way out of their own thin paper sacks that held them so blind. So, surely they never saw the 3 little kids standing before them. Kids that counted on their love and acceptance in order to grow strong and withstand this harsh world.
So there I was, this sensitive being, in a place that may have been a little less than giving. I am an innate dreamer, I wanted wings to fly away. I wanted to be good enough. In a world where I never was.
The point of this short post is to let all of you know, I am learning so much from being here. By just reading about you and your days, your issues, and your families. You let me into your dreams and your convictions, very powerful stuff! You all are the brave ones...
I wanted these words to say to you; I feel more free and I am beginning to live in less fear of being judged for silly stuff. If the damn comma is in the wrong spot or if I make some tragic mistake, it's just too freaking bad!
Maybe the blogger gestapo will come and toss me out on my ear; barring entry from this cyber-plane, forever!
I must get over it or I will type my words on the keyboard and nothing will appear on the screen, ever! Maybe when I wake tomorrow, I only have thumbs and typing will be an impossible fray of jumbled, nonsensical letters meaning that my message and thoughts will never push through.
If that is the case, ban me! Don't come back!
But I hope that you will return...
To my blogger buddies, like Spitfire, you guys make it real... and I admire you for that!
I might want to be a bird and I might want to fly. But I don't have to fly away!
I might have feathers, but I am not just fluff!
I have stories within, about my world and life, I love taking my photos.
I really do feel amazing when I disengage from reality and have a moment to create. I love the feeling of typing in order to just to take the ride and see where it ends. I want to let you ride with me and along the way I may discover the truth about who I am or maybe I will just take off the seat belt and let 'er fly!
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