I will miss you!

Goodness, I want to write today.  My goal was writing something every day for a year, just so that I can push myself a bit more.  I am a little over a week in and today is a challenge... I did not want to cheat, re-post or just pull an old draft, so today you just get the real me.

National Train Day, Lemonade Day, Concerts, Jazz Fest, Mother's Day and a marathon birthday party for my close friend's little girl.
I barely sipped my coffee and I am showered and dressing.  I stopped in front of my lovely fan, to cool off a bit and battle out the wardrobe in my head.  I had turned on the laptop earlier and it seems as though the screen was just too bright!  Like it was somehow trying to blind my eyes with the guilt of not writing today.  So, at risk of having to run out of the house half done, I am writing.
I read a very cute, disgruntled blog about some yellow peep toe heels from a fellow blogger and now I am just here, when I should be sprinting to get ready.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful day, I hope that you enjoy some sunshine, friends, music, nature or just a moment to yourself to tap these keys and share with us!

The phone just rang, the timer is ticking, gotta go.  Anyone seen my other shoe?

Rebel on Ice

It snowed in New Orleans, city of my birth, the day I was born...
The background of my "baby coming home photo" was on the snowy steps of Mercy Hospital and I am snuggled like a baby bug in a rug.  Snow on the Palmettos is not a common sight and when it does chance to happen, it only lingers for a fleeting moment in the sultry air of the south.
My son Bill moved north a few years ago when he made a decision to change career paths and go back to school; and for a short time before that my baby boy, Kenny had ventured up to work at ESPN for a while.
From those times on, my travel world expanded from my favorites of the tropical cruise, Mexico, Florida and Houston, to places north.
Visiting Kenny was great I went to Connecticut and NYC...I have floated around Baltimore Harbor and done some crappy skiing in North Carolina (snow blown out of a machine and ice chunks did not make for my best work on a slopes).  I made it out to the West Coast and splashed in the Pacific, rode cable cars and looked in awe toward the beauty of Lake Tahoe.  Wine Country is my dream life, and some of the most relaxing amazing vacation days that I have ever known.
But I have never been in real snow!
Well, this past Christmas I ran away to my lovely children and the most snow that I have ever seen! I LOVED IT!
Lake Michigan with huge chunks of ice and drifts so deep in nooks and corners that I could have lost a grandchild in them!
I have never seen anything like it, but I was made for it (not one single slip or fall).
I guess I really chickened out when it came to sledding down the hill, but everything else was heaven.

This post was begun during my (writing) dry spell, but it was so awesome with my family pictures and so different life from my regular humid, grassy, moss filled southern life, that I decided to finish it up and post it today.

I just came in from my yard, sweating from cutting grass and sweeping leaves, the cicada's singing the summer song and mosquito's buzzing near my ears. 

I think I miss the snow....

Gilded Glory

Far reaching tentacles incipient and slimy, swiping a clear path where their terror will prevail...

No matter the expanse of territory, their eyes constantly gleam from inhaling the scent of their own putrid power.

No right or wrong matters as they crush a life if someone dares to hold them accountable, for they are better than the rest who walk this earth.

Liars and cheats, greed pours from inside the small blackened hearts, as they pave their paths with gold.

No scruples, no conscious, all that lies within the myopic range of vision are the wealth and glory so cherished by men.

The world seems lost and crumbles under the hands of those who think only of themselves.

They who sleep so soundly on rich, silken sheets while thrones of gold or stacks of filthy coin stand nearby.

They lower cool blinders over wicked eyes so that they never have to see the pain of the world.

Not responsible, they turn away from the cries of our children and the elderly.

They poison our food and the very air we breathe to build towers that lift them high over the rubble, no despair reaches the hem on the gown of privilege.

They look for more and plan pleasure for themselves...

What will happen to this world, as they never look for the real tomorrow?

They only stare in the gilded mirror and see glory in the form and reflection of themselves.

Spinning Faster...

It seems the momentum of the world is increasing, spinning out of control so quickly we merely blink our eyes and the day is done.  When the new one rolls around we crash in to what was not complete from the day before and in addition we find new tasks set before us, along with mountains of new information. 

How does anyone keep up with anything anymore?
There is so much at our fingertips, anytime and in almost any place. 

We do not get to escape much! 

I took a train trip for the Christmas holidays and was on the train for almost 18 hours.  I was in amazement that I could curl up in my sleeper car and doze, but whenever I wanted to I would touch the face of my phone and it would tell me just where I was along my route, time and temperature.  Nothing so cool as to be rushing along on the rails, riding on the "City Of New Orleans" and being able to look up the words to the tune by sung by Arlo Guthrie, as a catchy reminder of the history of my trail! 

Email, text messaging, Facebook, Twitter, You Tube... I can look up information on any topic when my heart so desires.
Something that powerful can be rather distraction for a person like me, who use to read encyclopedia's for fun!  I had my "kiddie" set which I poured over, reading endless info on everything from aardvarks to xylophones... those were some pretty awesome books!  They taught me about caves with bats and stalagmites in Mexico and they told me who made the Statue Of  Liberty and how it got to America.  I saw the "outback" of Australia and at that moment, fell in love with koala bears;  I went to the Eiffel Tower and saw the Northern Lights...
Then I was allowed to moved on to the adult set and felt so privileged.  I still remember the deep reddish-brown leather covers that encased the books, perched on a huge shelf...  The heavy books wore gold embossed spines defining the volumes so that they could all be lined up in order.  Such an old memory now, but somehow I can still recall the smell of the pages mingled with scent of the real leather covers.  I wish that I could still hold them and feel the weight of all of that "stuff" in my hands.

I feel blessed to be alive in such an amazing place in time and technology;  but sometimes the best days seem to be of made forgetting where I left my cell phone and turning off the computer and the television.  I turn the world off for a while and pick up a book made from paper, with words pressed from ink and head out to the swing in my yard.  I take a seat while the wind blows my auburn hair across my brow and swiftly rustles the delicate pages that I hold so dear... and amazingly, the spinning seems to slow, if only for brief moment!

"You speak yourself into existence by your actions and integrity, and if you are not careful you can speak yourself right out"! ~ Original quote by Julie Oertel Watson

Created by the experiences of listening to "blah, blah, blah"...that means so much nothing, as compared to the power of speaking up, stepping up and producing!

Do what you say and say what you mean! 
Be honest and work towards the best possible outcome.  Maybe... once in a while that means you do not put yourself first, but rather work within a team "mindset" to do the right thing for all concerned. 


I believe that many of the people on this planet, hardworking like you and I, do try to do the right things for the right reasons.  It seems that the people "in charge" are the one's who for the most part seem to have lost sight of some honesty, integrity and hard work for others.   

I wonder if things will ever flip so that the world might be run by people who care about more than themselves or money?

6 Sentence Sunday...

Wind... blowing so hard that it slices a cloud into shreds, creating small tattered bits that fly up, screaming into a hectic sky. 

Sun leaving our horizon with blended colors remaining; they are so soft they kiss the earth goodnight with a promise of sweet dreams that are sure to come.

I am blessed with friends who love me just as I am, they take me with them to just do and be.  We do not need so much to enjoy our days together, and I am greatful.

All of the "me time" in the world does not make a life... a real life is messy and stressfull and full of things that need doing; with people both good and bad!

When I was a little girl I wanted to fly away just like the birds that I watched from my bedroom window.

Good night and good luck with the whirlwind week to come.  J.

And then, they kissed...

I know, I know, I have not been here much lately!
I had good intent, I looked at the page, I read your pieces and I have several new posts started but they have never been completed.  Forgotten words and amusing tales just put away in this virtual land of a sleek black box that I can close and unplug.  The thoughts hover and the longing is there, but it is almost fear that I feel when I think out my thoughts or expressions with any chance of coming to life.  To share, to create, to attempt to convey any insight or ramblings of my mind has become a terror of sorts, and I really do not understand why.

I did do something really fun and in the interest of my true passion, writing.  I took a class on how to write a novel and it was better than I anticipated.  I sat like a school girl awaiting the information that would allow me to reach my dream of a lifetime, I truly could not stop smiling.  Well, the class was a bit of a dream buster in that I realized how weak I was with dialogue skills.  But I have decided that practice is the only thing that will make it right.  I have entered contests and will be joining a writers guild, so I am working for the dream. 

Still the blog lingered untouched.  You see, I know that here I can really just say what I want.  It is a testing ground not just for writing skills,  but it is also an exercise where other people can see a bit of who you are, or who you pretend to be.  It is more personal...it is quick and painless and instantly exposed to others and that should be a good thing. 

Yesterday, I rushed to wake up, grabbed some coffee, snuggled back on my pillows and pushed the buttons on my remote.  You see, the Royal Wedding was on!  Life has been particularly rough over the last year or so.  My Dad was just gone one morning, no fanfare, no real goodbyes...the holidays flew past and some of that was time amazingly heartfelt and beautiful for me.  Train rides, Christmas morning with a real family and small children so happy they could bust...snow, nature, but that was just a brief escape.

In reality, work is rough. everyday there is a new threat that cuts to your very existence and leave your inner hobo deciding what overpass might be the best new "humble abode".  Gas prices make me cringe and for about a month, it was as if I created this new phobia... I was in a cold sweat and fumbling with literally avoidance of any gas pump, if possible!  It was so odd, that I found myself mumbling and talking aloud at the ridiculousness of the price as the numbers swirled round on the offensive pump with dizzying speed.  Actually, some guy tried to pick me up, he came over and spoke to me, as I was sputtering in fury, while holding the nozzle inside the tank of my poor car.  He talked, and told me what he did, he smiled and tried to hook me.  I just bitched and kept pumping! I guess he got the hint...funny thing was that I got into my car smiling and laughing.  "Hey, I am a hot commodity!"  "I am a women with her own car who can actually afford to "fill er up"."  How amazing.

This week my story gets worse, as a co-worker was murdered in his home.  I work for a fire department and all of us go through some pretty interesting and rough deals from time to time.  We are a family and we support each other, even when we sometimes do not even like each other...we have to.  Our business is pulling it together when others are in the worst times of their lives.  We go in, when others run out.  From fires to staying alone in areas evacuated...we count on each others, because we have to make it work and survive the worse to keep our little part of the world working as well as it can.

David was a good guy, kind of quiet from my aspect.  He had been there long enough to work himself up to a battalion chief.  He commanded part of our train wreck last week and did a good job.  I searched his radio transmissions to see if I could find something to use at his memorial...but he was just so calm and low key there was nothing much to use .  He came to work every shift and never missed one for 26 years!  How amazing...we are still struggling from the senselessness of it.

Yesterday though, was cool and bright and I found the wedding.  The weather seemed to match my personal view all the way to England!  Crisp colors, massive throngs of people and a huge air of heartfelt joy seemed to abound.  As I sipped my coffee, I laughed and wondered what the hell I was doing, I could/should be sleeping...but I smiled and looked blearily towards the "telly". 

Her dress was heaven with a bit of lace and his red jacket was so sharp and traditional.  The wed, they rode in historic coaches and everyone cheered.  It was so silly, romance and expense over done!  What is the freaking world thinking?  What am I thinking?  The world is in trouble, bad things keep happening, everything seems wrong, why are we suckers for all of this pomp and circumstance...it is a fairy tale and an illusion while the world is in peril.  Even fly overs from vintage aircraft joined in as part of the circus.

The couped stepped onto the balcony, crowds cheered and the brides face became full of life, "Wow", she said in amazement at the view of the huge crowd below.  The announcers exclaimed and described what I was watching.  The Queen, all in yellow, stepped out and took her mark and looked at the couple...and then they kissed.

I whooped and a single tear ran down my cheek.  It was not even a great, romantic kiss, I think that even William was overcome with the massive crowds, the overwhelming event and ordeal.  But, that did not matter.  What did matter is, I smiled and woke up the romantic inside of my soul.  I dressed, with makeup and wrapped a spring scarf around my neck.  I rode with the windows down and breathed in the fresh air, after all it was a wedding day! The happy bits of life we manage to get deserve a place of honor in this world!

For though, everyday is not brimming with what we most treasure, we cannot lose sight these things exists.  We cannot forget the magic of life, even if we are only rationed small bits.  Open your eyes, regard your soul and the let in the special things of this world.  Be on the lookout for why we are here...even if it is a kiss of strangers, in what seems a fairy tale on a distant shore.
                                    Besides, a circus is a fun time, right?  Come on, join in, live a little!